 | Untitled | Jun 22, '11 9:46 AM
for everyone |
I'm itching to write something about someone very dear to my heart, retaliate the few days we spent together before we parted, why the word "family" will never feel whole and fitting when referring to my own, how I am coping with it and how wounded and beaten I feel right now and the past few moths. However, the thought of stumbling upon this entry one day and reading the same heart-breaking thoughts and going through the emotional torture again and again seems too much for me to handle. Today, someone asked me if I've already grieved ("Nakapagluksa ka na ba?"). I think it's a rude question. Sure it's her way of showing sympathy. But I feel offended whenever I'm reminded that I've lost someone. It is like slapping my already bleeding wound. I wouldn't do that to myself. I need not remind myself of the details because the emptiness I feel inside, the vacuum that was left in my heart is already unbearably painful for me to forget what happened. Though, I think I owe it to myself to release the emotions (and by that I mean to write it all out). Someday, I hope to find courage to write something for you, ma. Maybe when I'm strong enough. Maybe when I'm happy again. Or maybe not ever. This is what I hate about myself (which seems to be a trait I inherited from my mother): masyadong akong paranoid at duwag.
But this time, there are very obvious reasons to panic. I can see how much weight my mother had lost. I can't stand seeing her like that. I don't know what to do. Now I know, I'm still JUST a KID. I'm such a coward. It's easy for me to go back here and continue my job while my siblings are there, seeing her like that.
I don't know the feeling of missing a parent during graduation (because they were always present, during my time). I don't know what my younger sister was thinking or feeling when I, her eldest sister, have to go with her on their highschool graduation. I won't have the chance to know how difficult it is to limit oneself in choosing a university in your community and taking whatever course they offer rather than pursuing a dream of experiencing a different environment and studying in a school away from home just to be able to tend to your parents. A fifteen year old saying "Walang maiiwan kina mama..." when asked if it's OK for her to go to college in a local university, is far more responsible than a 23-year old me. Shame on me!
I would never know how my father feels right now.
I don't know what mama is thinking. I'm afraid to ask.
I'm always afraid. Others think I'm strong because I am living independently. But I know for a fact that I am the weakest among us because I always runaway. Kahit alam kong wala kaming pera, pumasok pa rin ako ng UP. Tinakasan ko ang financial problem at hinayaan ko silang mag-isip ng paraan para mapagtapos ako ng pag-aaral. Natapos naman ako, salamat.
Nung na-stroke si papa wala rin ako sa bahay. Hindi ko naranasan kung anong naranasan ng tatlo kong kapatid. Paano sila nahirapan, nasaktan, natakot. Dumating ako dun, parang walang nangyari. Naka-move-forward na sila. Hindi pa nakarecover completely si papa pero malakas na ulit sya.
Sana matapos na rin tong problema na 'to. Gusto ko na ulit umuwi sa isang masaya, masigla at buong pamilya.
Please, to whoever is reading this, join my family in praying for mama.
Sa edad na 23, alam mong hindi ka na bumabata. Pero parang ang hirap pa rin isipin na ang bilis-bilis lumipas ng mga panahon. Hindi lang edad ang nagbabago taun-taon. Pati mundo, tila ang bilis umikot ngayon. Hindi mo mamamalayan, summer na naman. Parang kailan lang hindi ka mapakali kasi magpa-Pasko na. Dati-rati, ang bakasyon ang pinakahihintay mong panahon. Kasi walang ng pasok, makakanood ka ng TV buong araw, makakatulog ng mas mahabang oras, makakapaglakwatsa araw-araw.
Noon, simple lang ang mga problema mo pero syempre hindi mo yun alam kasi pakiramdam mo pasan mo na nag daigdig tuwing hindi ka mabilhan ng bagong sapatos o kung di ka payagan sumama sa mga kabarkada sa outing. Tingin mo mamamatay ka na tuwing magkakasakit ka. Pero sa loob-loob mo, may magic ang haplos ni mama. Isang hagod lang sa likod, papakainin ka lang ng mainit na sabaw ng tinola, gagaling ka na. Syempre kasunod nun sermong umaatikabo kasi hindi mo na naman sinunod mga utos nya na uminom ng vitamins, magsapin ng bimpo sa likod at wag mapapatuyo ng pawis, laging magdala ng payong, blah! blah! blah!. Pero ok lang yun kasi alam mo na kahit ano namang mangyari nandiyan lang sya. Handang mag-asikaso sa'yo tuwing magkakasakit ka.
Dati, sarili mo lang iniisip mo. Kasi nga, madami namang aalalay at susuporta sa'yo. Lahat puro tungkol sa'yo. Makasarili ka pa, kasi nga siguro bata ka pa. Pero oras na mapansin mong tila naiiba na ang ihip ng hangin o parang hindi na normal ang pag-ikot ng mundo. Masyado ng mabilis, parang wala ng pahinga. Kapag isang araw napansin mong kaya mo na palang alagaan ang sarili mo. Nagkakasakit ka't gumagaling kahit walang nag-aasikaso sa'yo. Ikaw na ang tinatakbuhan para hingan ng tulong sa mga problema. Tinatanong ka na sa mga desisyong may kinalaman sa bahay, lupa at pera... Ito na pala yun, tumatanda ka na pala.
At tumatanda na rin nga pala SILA. Kasabay mo, ang mama at papa ay tumatanda nga din pala. Bakit ba lagi mo na lang kinakalimutan ang bagay na yun? Kasi siguro sa tagal mo ng nakawalay sa kanila (halos pitong taon na ba?) at sa konting panahong inilalagi mo sa bahay tuwing makakanakaw ka ng bakasyon, hindi mo masyadong pinapansin ang mga pagbabago sa kanilang hitsura. Dahil nakatatak pa rin sa isip mo ang pares na malusog, masigla at walang iniindang mag-asawa.
Sana tumigil muna ang panahon. Sana hindi na sila tumanda pang lalo. Sana lagi silang malusog. Sana may magic din ako at pwede ko silang haplusin na lang o kaya ipagluto ng tinola para gumaling agad. Maging masigla ulit, malakas, Sana pwede ko silang sermunan na sana inalagaan nilang mabuti ang kalusugan nila para naman hindi kami pare-parehong nahihirapan, nasasaktan at nag-aalala. Pero pano nga ba nila iisipin ang sarili nila kung laging kaming mga anak ang inaasikaso nila?
Sana bata na lang ulit ako...para bata pa rin sila. Location: Maginhawa St. Teachers Village UP Diliman, Quezon City
Sounds fancy? Well the food is, but you wouldn't believe the price it takes to have a great Italian treat and the comfortable atmosphere in Friuli. It's one of the many restaurants that sprouted in Maginhawa St. - the Diagon Alley for gastronomic ventures.
The photos here are food-blogging unworthy because I only had my camera phone last night (my digicam might have done a better job but how I wish I can afford a DSLR  ). Anyway, don't mind the pictures; just take my word for it or better yet experience it yourself. 
The place is crowded. Not only because there were lots of customers but because the place is small. As we went upstairs (the establishment has two floors), I noticed the interior is more like the canteens in UP Diliman Shopping Center (SC) - nostalgic. The spiral staircase is steep and suffocating. The washroom is downstairs which makes it inconvenient for people eating on the 2nd floor. Clippings of write-ups from magazines are framed and displayed on the walls (reminding me of Rodics in UP).
Nonetheless, the staff is charming and attentive. We were, at first, arguing on the how to pronounce the menu but when I heard the crew's local accent (even that is similar to the ates and kuyas in SC), I know that it doesn't matter if we said the name correctly or if we sound pro on reading Italian menu.
The foods are nothing but my favorites. I am a pasta and pizza lover but when it comes to pasta, I still have the Filipino palate, not much of the tomato-sour meat sauce, so I had their Tuna & Mushroom pasta instead. I like the hint of spiciness and the generous amount of white sauce that goes really well with the jumbo Mozzarella Cheese Sticks. (click on the photos to see full picture) They also have a great selection of pizzas. They have regular pizzas (I don't know why they call it just plain "pizza" when it taste nothing like the ordinary ones in fast-food joints) and Gourmet Pizzas in thin crust. The good thing about it is you can choose two flavors in one pan. We ordered 1 regular pizza and 1 gourmet with 4 different flavors. We tried their bestsellers, Tre Formaggi and Viva Venezia. Tre (our personal nickname for it) is an all cheese pizza. It is a bit cloying because the blue cheese has strong flavor and a little too salty for my taste. But it compliments well with the pasta. Viva Venezia is like the pizza you know very well - meat, mushrooms, green bell pepper, onions, cheese and olives. I liked it except that it tastes too familiar, it's like a comfort zone.  The Gourmet Pizzas are pricier but you wouldn't mind shelling out more cash for they taste really good. We had Cheese Steak and BBQ Chicken that are equally enticing and will satisfy your cravings for meaty and savory pizza. I love it that they do not scrimp on toppings!
Then we had gelato for dessert. As much as we want to sample every dessert in the menu, we only had a few choices left because some flavors were not available (their bestsellers think). I had the After Eight (P85) gelato cake - layers of chocolate and mint-flavored gelato that is quite refreshing. My friends had Tiramisu (P85) and Tartofu Nero (P100) which are both bitter-sweet.
I wouldn't be writing about it if it was just a typical dinner. But because it was a great dining experience, much more with good company and loads of stories and laughter, I'm sharing my Friuli food trip. It wouldn't have been great if not for the good service, good food and value for money we got. They offer great food with a pocket-friendly price. 
I'll surely go back to Friuli!
 | WALL MESSAGES | |
 | ay ganon ba? ok lang naman ako...=) ikaw, musta? |
 | lian..di ko na nga rin nakikita si sheilette eh..hehe...tinetext ko sya pero iba na ata no.nya.....ikaw musta na? |
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ider wrote on Aug 19, '09 |
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ider wrote on Aug 18, '09 |
| I'm on facebook!!! =) nahawa na rin sa pandemic "facebook" mania |
| ider, bem...bukas nalang tribute nyo...i'm tired! char! Bem we mishuuuu!! |
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ider wrote on Dec 14, '08 ako lain, naligaw again. hahaha! so cute ur bg.. like it! asan na pala ung tribute mo sa amin ni bem? hehehe |
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ider wrote on Dec 13, '08 hi lian!! wahahaha! mag-blog din ako tungkol sa "bunutan" natin.. hahaha! |
 | hey lian! anime ba? hmmm... sa kaoru ng RK? si Conan? ah yung babae sa bleach... nakalimutan ko name... hmmm.. magtatanong ako kay chibs! hehehe |
| ganon? ang sama-sama nya!!! newie, musta ka namn jan jen? =_) |
 | oo nakakainis sya! at ang malala pa, ung name at pics na nlagay nya sa site nya ibang tao un...
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| hay naku, mga taong walang magawa...nakakainis no? |
| naku lian! naligaw din yan sa site ko at sa isa ko png friend. mas malala pa ang sinabi samin. nakakainis sya! iblock mo nalang! |
 | tnx lian! :) see you soon :) |
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uy lian, happy bday sa tuesday...musta? 
